Jocelyn, Thank You so much for your prayers! My name is Amy, I am Rachel's aunt (Dad's sister) and it means so much to all of us that you took the time to let us know you found a balloon! Just sharing Rachel with others means that she can touch more people's lives than those she has already blessed. The impact she had on me is life changing, I have never experienced anything like it before, God sent me a message with that little angel and I just cannot put into words the joy, love and light that is now part of me because of her! Thank you again! God Bless you and your family!

Dear Barb,

My husband and son found one of the balloons you and your family had released in honor of your daughter Rachel. They found it in the woods on October 18, 2009 in the town of Williamson, NY.

I have visited your site and was very pleased to see how much you love your daughter and the Lord who now cares for her and you. I also want to mention that in that same woods that your balloon was found in, my husband watched a double rainbow the day before. I can't help but think that God was trying to send you a message! He does keep His promises.

I have prayed for you and your family and am willing to continue to pray for you. I speak blessings to you and your family. May his favor go with you wherever you go and may the work of your hands and your mouth be blessed! May you feel the Lord very near every day of your lives and my His presence bring you peace and comfort.

Thank you for being so open and sharing your testimonies!

Blessings,

Jocelyn

Rachel,
Yesterday was a mixed bag of emotions for me. I was profoundly sad and I really didnt expect to be, I saw a beautiful baby girl with features similat to yours whin I went shopping yesterday and it made me sad. I asked her mom how old she was and she told me she just turned 1(I could tell).,She was very cute. I have this ideal of you and what and who you would be in my mind and she represented alot of who I imagine you wuold be.
There was also a beautiful butterfly in the parking lot which is my " symbol" of you. It was very special that God sent it right at the moment I needed it.
The balloon release was even more special than I had imagined. So many family and friends came who wanted to support our family and honor you were here. It was a wonderful tribute to you. We put notes in some of the balloons and attached very special, lamanated photos with our name, birthdate, promotion to heaven date and your blog address on them. That was your Aunt Amys idea. That was so touching to me and a very great way to potentially witness to people who dont know Jesus and their savior. God works in ways that seem mysterious to us in our limited vision, but to Him, who sees all, his ways are perfect. I am so glad we can serve a perfect God.
I cant wait to see you. Untill then, I will hold you in my heart.

P.S. Thank you to everyone who came to help my family remember and honor Rachel Elaine.Thank you to all who wanted to be here but couldnt.We love you all..

What's with the touchng songs..i stared cryin when... What's with the touchng songs..i stared cryin when i was looking at the pictures...i still cant beleive she would be one tommorow it seems like she was born yesterday i miss her so much...at least tommorow there will be people there to celeabrate her birthday witch is great but it's also sad to know she past away..before rachel was born i never knew how precious life was..but now i understand that god put me on earth to beleve in him as my only savoior..Rachel touched me in so many ways then anyone else..i cant belive someone who was here for 4 days can change your life..and people who have been here for 90 years cant touch you like that...God Bless You Rachel I Miss You And Love you...Love Autumn

Wow...In just one short week we will be at the one year anniversary of your birth. I wonder how I will handle it. It seems so impossible that any of this really happened. Jesus has kept me in perfect peace because my mind has been stayed on him in this circumstance. He assures me often of the truth that you are safe and secure in the arms of God in heaven..I am so grateful that He is so good and that He made a way for me to be with him as well when he paid the price for my sins on that cruel Roman cross.

July 11th,2009

Rachel,
Today was your big sister Samantha's graduation party.Pastor Mike and Jody came and brought Anna and baby Michael with them. I got to hold the baby. I was really looking forward to holding him but I was also nervous that I might react badly. I didn't. He is so special and beautiful and perfect, but he is also very different than you were. You were softer and obviously very unique and in your weakness you were very strong. You survived the trauma of labor and lived for 3 days despite how very ill you were. When I held you, I was holding a miracle. I know that God sent you for a short time to do some big things for His kingdom and for His glory. I miss you, but now , for the most part , when I think of you I find myself smiling instead of crying. God has made

beauty from ashes
oil of gladness from mourning
a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness
"Isaiah 61:3(paraphrased)"
Love forever,
Mom

Rachel,
I used to resent people seeing me as "the one with the baby who died". I thought "that's not who I am", but I have come to realize that, in fact, is who I am, at least in part. It is something that defines my life as unique. Not that no one has never lost a baby before, but my life experiences are mine alone and the sum of them make me who I am. God has allowed every life experience I have ever had and ever will have to equip me for the unique job I have, and to mold me and transform me into the image of HIS Son.
Mommy

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "I am so pleased that God saw fit to use me to carr...": Hi. I stumbled upon your blog while doing a search because my name is also Rachel Elaine. Your blog is so beautiful and very much appreciated by me. You see, I lost my first-born, only son, Blake on Nov. 28, 2007 when he was almost 17 years old. He was killed in an auto accident when a class mate hit his car and alammed him into a wall on the way to a very violent death. The boy was an illegal immigrant with no driver's license, unbeknownst to my son (or anyone) at the time. The boy fled the scene after killing my son. We forgave the boy immediately. As I said at the time, one life has been destroyed, I don't want to see anymore destruction if I can help it. After the police left, my first words to God were: "Lord I can accept this as long as I know Blake is in Heaven with You." God has let me know sooo many times with many signs and wonders that are too uncany to be anything else but from His undeniable Hand. Beginning with a very real Hand on my shoulder that actually moved my hair upon telling the family translator to relay to the family "Tell them that we love them." Our son is in Heaven, safe and protected. Although we have taken so much flak for the forgiveness that none can understand, I feel so close to the spirit of my son and oh so comforted by the only One who can give that Peace that transcends understanding, because of the unnatural act, showing the face of Christ at the most trying time there could ever be. There are constant heart-shaped "signs" left from my son even after all this time as his message to me that love never dies. Blake was to graduate high school in a few weeks (as well as having a two year degree from college - he was so smart) and I plan to attend and walk the stage for him as the young people from his class that I've stayed in touch with want to present me with a surprise.I feel like an ambassador for him and will keep my head up for him and to show what miracles God can do.I know what you mean about the legacy your beautiful, precious daughter has left and how a child can do more and leave more in this life than most people do or leave after 90 years. My son was the same. His MySpace.com page (still open at my request) gives a bit of a testimony of who he was. He named the person most wanted to meet as: "Jesus Christ (my savior)" as well as his Hero. He talked about how helping others is the greatest feeling in the world, etc. I am very privileged in being a part of God's plan through the death of my son as hard as it is to bear at times. I see the cause and effect reasons already. And that is only the beginning of seeing the unfinished tapestry and finally being able to see the front side of the tapestry with the clear eyes of eternity. This life is just a flash...just a grain of sand throughout all eternity. We have to keep going and run our race with our last breaths to the best of our abilities even when it takes the last bit of our strength and much borrowed Strength.I am truly sorry of the loss of your precious, Rachel Elaine. Yours and Rachel's blog has really touched me. I had a big cry, looking through her beautiful pictures and reading the words posted. I cry for the loss of your Rachel from your physical life as well as for all of us who have lost a child, in the tears we know so well.I have a small blog: thoughtsforthought.blog.comIt was started before Blake was killed but now consists mostly of grief poetry. It helps the healing process to write and hopefully educate others about the grief process.Sure didn't intend to be so long-winded here (Believe it or not, I am swamped with work right now.) but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated you sharing Rachel's story and your subsequent journey that I can relate to.May you always find the Hand of the Comforter on your shoulder and the Peace that transcends all understanding of humankind, even through your tears....Love and hugs,Rachel

I am so pleased that God saw fit to use me to carry such a special baby as Rachel into the world. It is humbling to know that through Rachel many lives were changed and many more will be. Rachel left a legacy most people only dream of.
God is amazing. He truly does use ordinary people to accomplish his will. I am proof of that because I am very ordinary without the Holy Spirit working in and through me.
My prayer is that more people are willing to say "here I am Lord", and may that also be the desire of my heart as well.

To Rachels friends and family,

This blog is entitled Waiting for Rachel but now Rachel is waiting for me.
She is waiting for all of those whose life she touched.
Waiting for you to decide to give your life over to God. To trust Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior and the only way to a home in heaven.
She is waiting on your heart to decide once and for all that you are indeed a sinner, that you could never "do enough good" to "earn" your way to heaven, to turn from yourself and sin and come to the cross of Christ where ALL of your sins can be forgiven. All that you need to do is repent and ask Jesus into your heart. Let him into your life and be secure in the knowledge that you too will enjoy eternity with Jesus( and Rachel) in paradise. Nothing is better than that.

"Say their names"

Adapted from Say Olin to Say Good-Bye
written by Don Hackett


The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how were doing. Never are the names of our children mentioned to us. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. Lives slip from frequent recall. There are expectations: close and cpmpassionate friends, sensitive and loving family. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent. But for us the play will never end. The effects on us are timeless. Say THEIR NAMES to us. On the stage of our lives they have been both lead and supporting actors and actresses. Do not tiptoe around one of the greatest events of our lives. Love does not die. Their names are written on our lives. The sounds of their voices replay within our minds. You feel they are dead. We feel they are of the dead and still they live. They ghostwalk our soul, beckoning in future welcome. You say they were our children. We say they are. Say THEIR NAMES to us and say THEIR NAMES again. It hurts to bury their memory in silence. What they were in flesh is no longer with us. What they are in spirit stirs within us always. They are of our past but they are part of our now. They are our hope for the future. You say not to remind us. How little you understand we cannot forget. We would not if we could. We understand you, but feel pain in being forced to do so. We forgive you, because you cannot know. And we would forgive you anyway. We accept how you see us, but understand that you see us not at all. We strive not to judge you, for yesterday we were like you. We love you. We will make no exceptions toward you. But we wish you could understand that we dwell both in flesh and spirit. The mystery is that you do too, but know it not. We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk with them in flesh, looking not to spirit roads beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost you cannot feel. What we have gained you cannot see. And we would not have you. Say THEIR NAMES for they are alive in us. They and we will meet again, though in many ways we've never parted. They and their lives play light songs on our minds, sunrises and sunsets on our dreams. They are real and shadow, were and are. Say THEIR NAMES to us and say THEIR NAMES again. They are our children and we love them as we always did. Say THEIR NAMES!

Grandma and Grandpa with Rachel Elaine

To ALL my daughters
My Princess....
You are my precious daughter

You are a daughter of the King, and not just any king. You are My daughter, and I am the God of all heaven and earth. I'm delighted with you! You are the apple of My eye. You're Daddy's girl. Your earthly father may love and adore you, but his love is not perfect, no matter how great -or small -it is. Only My love is perfect ... because I am Love. I formed your body. I fashioned your mind and soul. I know your personality, and I understand your needs and desires. I see your heartaches and disappointments, and I love you passionately and patiently. My child, I bought you with a price so that we could have an intimate relationship together for all eternity. Soon we will see each other face-to-face, Father and daughter- and you will experience the wonderful place I have prepared for you in paradise. Until then, fix your eyes on heaven, and walk closely with Me. You will know that- although I am God -My arms are not too big to hold you, My beloved daughter.

Love,
Your King and your Daddy in heaven

"And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty,
2 Corinthians 6:18

Mom

Rachel, 1/30/08

Wow, In Jennifers' baby pictures you and she look so much alike-even the hair color-you just had more hair than Jen and your skin was darker like your Dad and your sister Kelly.
I try to imagine what you would look like today. You would be 16 weeks old and plumpin up. I can almost guarantee baby blue eyes just like all of your siblings. Hair, now thats another story-we all have slightly different haircolors so I just dont know.
Your brother Matthew cried last night while we were praying. He said " I wish I could have held her good-bye". I explained that it was a very good thing that he wasn't home the night she went home to heaven because it was very sad, but he said he didn't care, he wanted to (in his words) "hold you alot more times". I did too......
Missing You,
Mom

Baby Jacob has left a new comment on your post "Rachel, 1/23/09 I keep thinking ...": Hi Barb~I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I am truly blessed to have been in the presence of sweet Rachel not just once but twice! I wasn't sure if I would ever see another T18 baby and there she was, perfectly made by the Creator to grace this world for three days, do what He had her to do by winning our hearts with her pesence and then she went to be with the One who created her with such amazing purpose. She is a true miracle. We are bound by our greif for our precious babies made with such wonderful purpose. Love and thinking of you and your family,Karen

Rachel, 1/23/09
I keep thinking about the night(morning) you were born. When we finally knew if you had Trisome 18 or not. When we realized that God decided not to heal you, I was in shock. Part of me really believed God was going to heal you, and still another part of me knew that His work wouldn't be accomplished if you were born healthy and healed. The hardest part of that night was when the delivery was all over and everyone there came in the room. No one said anything for the longest time. The heaviness of it was so obvious.
I love everyone of those people who were in that room with me and I am so grateful for their support. Especially your Dad, he was so soft yet so strong for me and for you. I love and admire him so much more than I ever had before. I know also that your older brothers and sisters and your grandma and grandpa and your aunts and uncles were waiting anxiously for the news. So were many others who couldnt be present but were there in spirit nonetheless. I love you all.
Mom

Baby Rachel, 1/16/09

Your Grama Patty is such a beautiful, remarkable woman. She was with me throughought my entire labor and delivery, right through to a few days after your death.

She stayed in my hospital room on the most uncomfortable "bed" imaginable the night I delivered you. She took care of me in the hospital. She stayed with us at home and helped us with EVERYTHING.

God has blessed me with a very tender, generous woman as my Mom.

Thank you Mom.

I know she loved you very much Rachel.

Love,

Mommy