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Rachel Elaine Grapes Memorial Celebration 2009

On Rachel's first birthday we celebrated her life with us and her life now with God. Everyone that attended released a balloon in memory of Rachel. Family members sent a letter to Rachel inside of their balloons and friends (and family) sent a picture of Rachel attached to the balloons.

If you have found one of Rachel's balloons please say a prayer for Rachel and her family and sign our guestbook to let us know where and when you found it.

God Bless Rachel, her family and all those that she has touched in her short time here on earth!

Rachel Elaine Grapes Memorial Celebration 2009 Part 1

Rachel Elaine Grapes Memorial Celebration 2009 Part 2

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Amy McFarland said...
Rachel Elaine Grapes has found her way to Twitter! I "tweet" about her everyday! She is my inspiration, my guide and my assurance that God keeps us close! Thank you Rachel for blessing our lives each and every day!

December 17, 2008 7:26 AM


Aunt Rose said...
MERRY CHRISTMAS RACHEL ELAINE

YOUR THE ANGEL AT THE TOP OF MY TREE THIS YEAR AND WILL ALWAYS BE

THANK YOU RACHEL ELAINE FOR GRACING US ALL

I LOVE YOU
AUNT ROSE

December 23, 2008 11:43 AM

I was wrong

12-18-08

How wrong was I? There are such beautiful people in my life who are still concerned with how I, and my family are doing. It is so overwhelming. I am surrounded by such undeserved love and I pray to God that I will be a blessing to others like these kind, wonderful people have been to me.

A shout out to P.M-J.H-J.H mom and dad- H.B,K.F-A.Mc-Aunt Rose and my mom. I love you all

Closer

12/18/08

I am closer to God now than I have ever been.
I am fully leaning on HIM for everything(big or small)
HE is walking me through the fire ( and I will come out the other side anew)

Rachel,

12-14-08
I have been so busy lately with Thanksgiving and Christmas that I havent had much time to write to you.
I was at the mall yesterday seeing all the Christmas decorations, and the Moms and Dads with their little babies, and it hit me pretty hard that you're not with us for Christmas.

HOWEVER...., you are with the very One whose birth we celebrate.
Praise God for leaving heaven and all of its splendor and privelage, to come to a fallen world as a helpless baby boy, to grow to become the sinless, perfect sacrifice for all who will believe on HIM. I am so glad that I know when I die I will be with you again in heaven, eternally praising the Lord for all he has done for me.

Love
Mom

Monday, December 15, 2008

please understand that I am publishing some very personal emotional writings in hope that it will help me heal and prayerfully, that others who are grieving will know that what they are experiencing is not unusual.

Who am I?

11-28-08

Dear God,
Babies arent supposed to die.
Babies arent supposed to be gray.
Babies arent supposed to be so sick that Moms are afraid their going to die in their arms.
Moms arent supposed to be afraid that their babies are struggling to breathe.
Moms arent supposed to have to give their babies morphine to ease their babies pain and suffering.
Parents arent supposed to have to decide if you want your baby creamated or buried.
Moms arent supposed to ~

Im sorry God.
Who am I to decide what people are or are not supposed to experience.

Dear God,

Filling the hole in my heart

11-24-08
Rachel,
Today is Mommy and Daddys anniversary! Your Daddy doesnt usually take me out for our anniversary but since you came into our lives he is a changed man in alot of ways.He and I have been out 3 times in the last month and prior to you we had mayber gone out 3 times in the past year.
Honestly Rachel, I am in more pain in the last 5 days over your death than I was in the last 5 weeks. It is really hitting me hard now. The novelty of it all has worn off for most people around me and I feel so very alone im my sadness. I am not sure how your Dad is doing. He works so many hours. Maybe that is how he is coping. I keep tryint to fill that hole your death left in my heart with things like my locket with your adorable tiny face on it, or the ring with your color stone in it or busy work or working on your blog, but I have come to realize that the hole will forever be there. I am not the same.
My hope is in the Lord. HIS love keeps me going. The awareness that He has a plan and a purpose for this tragedy in my life gives me strength. Even when I am on my face with grief, I know He is with me.
Love Mom

Prayer

11-19-08
My sweet baby Rachel,
Yesterday JH took me out to lunch.We had a very nice time and I thank God for her.She told me she was going to try to pray for me and the family everyday for the next year. How beautiful!
I learned from her and PM the beauty and power of prayer, but also the discipline and kindness and responsibility of prayer. They showed me how lacking I am in that area of my life and I desire that God will help me to grow in this area.
My locket came in yesterday it is so special to me. Lorissa also got a gold locket that holds 2 of your pictures and it is very meaningful to her.She has been deeply affected by your dying and I am glad that this simple token can aid in her healing.
I didnt think about you until 40 minutes after I woke up and then I felt really guilty because of it.Silly, huh?
KF called and I told her about that guilt. She totally understood. God is so good in the way he provided a Mom who can relate to all my emotions. Amazing. She also understands that I want people to still grieve with me. In some way it keeps you and her Jacob alive.
I love you Rachel
Mom

Friday, December 5, 2008

thank you Aaron

Thank you so much Aaron for getting up early and getting the video posted for me. I am exrtemly grateful.

Rachels journal

I have been writing alot of my feeling and thoughts in letter form to Rachel and God.
Some of them are very personal and I will not be posting, but I think perhaps if I share some of my letters with others it may help them in a time of need and it may help me to heal, knowing others are sharing in my grief.
11/11/08
Dear Rachel,
How sad it was to get your bassinette out of our room. I was using it as a memorial to you and I know it wasnt "healthy". I asked Jody to pray for me to be strong enough to get it out of here and she must have because your Dad gave me money to buy a new bedspread and when I put it on the bed the bassinette looked very awkward. All the clothes you never got to wear went in there as well, and I cried imagining what you might have looked like in them.
My heart actually, physically aches and my chest feels heavy.
I miss you so much.
Heres a verse that has been encouraging to me:

Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.